Get 2 Choppin

You may have recently noticed a change in the layout here at get2choppin.com. The lone sponsor of this site Google Adsense removed their ads without warning about two weeks ago. I formally submitted an appeal but was recently contacted that the appeal had been denied because as they said, “your account poses a significant risk to our advertisers. For this reason, we’re unable to reinstate your account. Thank you for understanding.”   

This is what I don’t understand, what do you, Google, mean by a significant risk? Is it because I have integrity and don’t bow down to Google’s watered down version of what is popular and appropriate? I am sorry I don’t write what you, Google, or your greed filled money-sucking vacuums on the fabric of society that you call your advertisers want me to write about.  I will not put on rose-colored glasses and sweep the first amendment rights of every choppin’ American under the corporate umbrella of your No Talent Ass Clown Company. I don’t care how big you are you are not as big as the American sense of right and wrong and fair play.

You and your advertisers are just a bunch of No Talented Ass Clowns that have sold out for the all mighty dollar. I find it quite ironic that some of the ads that appeared on my site (not because I wanted them that is for sure) were for gay thug dating sites. Is this the type of advertisers that I am placing at risk? I would be more concern if I was Bank of America and I was being lumped in with gay thugs who like to do the rear dick hug.

Is it a coincidence that the recent increase in the popularity of get2choppin.com and thus a gradual increase in the site’s profit margin happen to coincide with Google removing their adsense participation? I think not. Google you are the big fat hairy tarantula in this World Wide Web and we are just little flies caught up in your sticky information trap because we wanted to google our ex-girlfriend or find out what lugubrious means but I think it is time for you to take a long look at your ugly self in the mirror you eight legged big shoed freak of a No-Talent Ass Clown.     

There is nothing worse in this world than a bunch of No Talent Ass Clown good for nothing varmints that take advantage of the good-natured kindness of an individual and steal his hats.

Here is the gist of the story. Last spring on a cold blustery day I, John E. Bravo, lent some stocking hats to a bunch of pansy-ass sissy lightweight wastes of space between the nets. Their obvious lack of integrity led them to steal the sunshine, pilfer the passion, and five-finger the friendliness of a great guy just looking to do the right thing for people that are completely unlikely to ever experience the choppin’ lifestyle for themselves.

I hate to digress but my side question is this: If Lucille Ball’s character from “I love Lucy” had a son with her T.V. star husband and the child ended up with mental problems would he be called Ricky Retardo?

Anyways, the only hat that these no talent ass clowns should be wearing is either an old-fashioned dunce cap or Crazy Carl’s helmet from the short bus.  These individuals, and I refuse to even mention them, are officially dead to me. I am sorry that is how I feel, but it is written and cannot be taken back, that is the power of the Internet. Hopefully they learn the lesson that when it comes time to pay the piper you better bring a check that ain’t going to bounce like a fat kid’s chins on a trampoline.

All I can say is that being petty ain’t gonna get you any closer to being pretty like me.

Listen up you N-TAC and yes you know who I am talking about. You have gone too far and now you are officially listed in the book of Choppin’ records as a No Talent Ass Clown, N-TAC. You need to shut your pie hole for a quick second, sit down and listen to what is the reason for your fall into the pits of choppin’ oblivion.

First, your thieving ways are like Orville and Wilbur Wright’s first attempted plane flight: that shit don’t fly for long around these parts. Taking the energy drink of a man who is addicted to caffeine is tantamount to ripping a newborn baby calf off the teat of its momma as it is in mid “glub glub”. That is just plain cruel and unusual punishment. Why don’t you just sign up now to start adminstering lethal injections to innocent death row inmates cause that is the direction where your no talent ass clown life is heading.

Second, you need to consider taking up another sport something like handicap gymnastics which may be more suited toward your no talent ass clown ability because your sit stall on the pine pommel horse is a perfect ten. Your riding the steel like you won a free pass from your carnie boyfriend for an all you can ride trip on the ferris wheel at the local traveling carnival just ain’t cutting it anymore.

Third, saying Wicknasty is unattractive is blasphemy I dare say. You might as well have stood at the right hand of Jesus during the sermon on the mount and said, “You’re crazyyyy! you think we are going to feed 5000 people with some fish and bread? You’re crazyyy, plus we ain’t got no tartar sauce to boot. I think you’re a couple commandments short of a full deck.” Gee you are a mess, you no talent ass clown. Get it together.

I mean you aren’t even the ON-TAC, the orginal no talent ass clown, you couldn’t even throw on enough clown make-up to come close to resembling the ON-TAC. You are though the Dean of the No Talent Ass Clown Junior College, and summer classes are in full session cause you are rubbing off on your friends like the word WELCOME on the mat of a popular person’s house. Which by the way isn’t you. You are about as popular as a bowl of steaming hot poo with extra hot peppers on a 100 percent humidity day in the middle of summer in Michigan, you No Talent Ass Clown.   

Finally and listen up real close you no talent ass clown. A chewed piece of gum on a subway train in New York city has better logic and a worthier opionion about how to live life than you. The one thing you both have in common though is that you are both along for the free ride. If someone could just invent a human size gum scraper I would be a happy man until then keep your distance you no talent ass clown and by distance I mean go do some lake research and take a long walk off a short pier and count how many stones you find that are cooler than you (by the way it is all of them but do the leg work anyway).