Get 2 Choppin

These are three original Choppin legends and they make up what is known as the Board of Choppin’ Legends. This board votes on all things Choppin’. So if you are a female your motto should be, “Have you kissed a legend lately?” and if you are a dude well it should be just this simple credo, “Am I choppin’, legend style?”

The original legends consist of the banana ballad blaster himself, Ed “Turd” Ferguson or Eddie the Eclectic on the Electric.

The one, the only, the inventor of tractor sex himself, Wham Dickham. You may know him by Dan Wickham or King Dan the Short-Tempered.

The third and final original legedn is the editor-in-choppin. The killer on the keyboard, John E. Bravo otherwise known by such aliases as Hans Onyerbunz, Dick C. Choppin, Dick Wiley, King Brian the Long Haired, and Chef Ben Dyson. He is also the founder and CEO of the parent company of get2choppin.com: F.I.N.E. Inc. (Forging Integrity iN Everyone)

The fourth legend to be added to the fold is K.C. the Sunshine Man. His choppin’ coronation and celebration party is a year long ordeal as a matter of choppin’ fact. His boyish good looks and his position as head electrician for the get2choppin.com headquarters makes him a valuable component of the legend crew.   

The fifth legend to be added to the mix is Johnny “I am no longer singing the” Blues and am just plain old Johnny Blue. His repeated attempts at breaking his own record of drinking a pitcher through a straw will go down in choppin’ history as the straw that broke the hoppin’ camel’s back and got him into legendhood.

The latest and sixth Legend to be voted into the crew is Sergeant Shanie B. This third street queer had some help from the heavens on this one. Just kidding, he has reported for duty, shined to the nines and starched stiffer than a cock shot full of cocaine, and is ready to accept his latest mission as Choppin’ Legend.

And remember if you ain’t choppin’ you just ain’t cutting it.