Thursday
Jan142010
Choppin Illogic: The Pot Puffer's Panacea
Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 02:53AM
It amuses me how some people rationalize their actions and create “sound” arguments for indulging in behaviors that ninety-nine percent of the population would deem as unhealthy. You know you might have a drug problem when you start believing that “Mary Jane” isn’t just a real person but in fact acts as your personal physician.
Relax pot puffers and don’t go licking that Cheetoh’s dust off your fingers just yet as you think about typing back a scathing retort about the benefits of a doctor prescribed doobie ( I say think, because I can almost guarantee that within the time you finish this sentence you will have lost track of your train of thought and will be glued to whatever scene from Star Wars you left off at) because I fully understand that can of worms.
What blows my mind, like a stoner finally syncing Pink Floyd with the Wizard of Oz, is the idea that anyone could think that a relatively healthy individual could benefit from moderate trips on the cannabus. Tell that to toothless Timmy the meth-head who only uses in moderation (like when his grandma leaves the backdoor unlocked and he can steal her VCR) or Clarissa the part-time crack whore. Yes, I know those examples are extreme but snap out of the purple haze you pot puffers and come up with a real argument besides I stubbed my toe and I need it to kill the pain or your quasi-philosophy of moderation that “enough‘s enough, it‘s just a puff, no need to bring in Johnny Law and get rough“.
It reasons that they don’t sell pot next to potassium in the health food store because, um well, it‘s not fucking healthy. It is not Echinacea, fish oil, or even vitamin c for Peter Tosh’s sake so don‘t try to tell me that you‘ve done the research, Mr. PhD (pot huffing degenerate) . Last time I checked applying a thick layer of resin to your lungs on a reoccurring basis was not cracking the top 100 for healthiest things you can do to your body. I can see the benefits to some one suffering from cancer and having pain and no appetite choosing this course of action but I can’t see a “healthy” person putting it on their list of super supplements.
I’m not getting into the rebellious nature of this beast, or the political purgatory that pot puffers often find themselves in. All I’m saying is don’t try to blow your silly smoke up my ass and compare the benefits to getting your recommended daily allowance of fruits and vegetables with a session on the bongos. So take your one-hitter Barry Zito and hit the showers; games over.
Side note: Don’t be thinking that you are going to be huffing and puffing and blowing this house down because we both know you don’t have the lung capacity.
Relax pot puffers and don’t go licking that Cheetoh’s dust off your fingers just yet as you think about typing back a scathing retort about the benefits of a doctor prescribed doobie ( I say think, because I can almost guarantee that within the time you finish this sentence you will have lost track of your train of thought and will be glued to whatever scene from Star Wars you left off at) because I fully understand that can of worms.
What blows my mind, like a stoner finally syncing Pink Floyd with the Wizard of Oz, is the idea that anyone could think that a relatively healthy individual could benefit from moderate trips on the cannabus. Tell that to toothless Timmy the meth-head who only uses in moderation (like when his grandma leaves the backdoor unlocked and he can steal her VCR) or Clarissa the part-time crack whore. Yes, I know those examples are extreme but snap out of the purple haze you pot puffers and come up with a real argument besides I stubbed my toe and I need it to kill the pain or your quasi-philosophy of moderation that “enough‘s enough, it‘s just a puff, no need to bring in Johnny Law and get rough“.
It reasons that they don’t sell pot next to potassium in the health food store because, um well, it‘s not fucking healthy. It is not Echinacea, fish oil, or even vitamin c for Peter Tosh’s sake so don‘t try to tell me that you‘ve done the research, Mr. PhD (pot huffing degenerate) . Last time I checked applying a thick layer of resin to your lungs on a reoccurring basis was not cracking the top 100 for healthiest things you can do to your body. I can see the benefits to some one suffering from cancer and having pain and no appetite choosing this course of action but I can’t see a “healthy” person putting it on their list of super supplements.
I’m not getting into the rebellious nature of this beast, or the political purgatory that pot puffers often find themselves in. All I’m saying is don’t try to blow your silly smoke up my ass and compare the benefits to getting your recommended daily allowance of fruits and vegetables with a session on the bongos. So take your one-hitter Barry Zito and hit the showers; games over.
Side note: Don’t be thinking that you are going to be huffing and puffing and blowing this house down because we both know you don’t have the lung capacity.
Reader Comments (3)
So what is your view on those that partake in the "adult beverage"? Isn't it also unhealthy? AND can lead to one night stands, memory loss and unfortunately death?
That's not the point. Everyone that drinks realizes that excessive use can lead to those side effects you mentioned Debbie Downer (they obviously make the choice to moderate their use or disobey the consequences). The point was for the certain stoners who think that the mary jane is a cure-all for the ills of society and the body!
I hate when you call me Debbie Downer. :(