Get 2 Choppin

It is an interesting thing to visit a mall and just sit and watch the flow of pedestrian traffic during a mid-afternoon, midweek MILF mission.  There is a plethora of potential when it comes to the mall. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

It started with a sweet navigator call on the part of Wham Dickham, after a quick left turn toward the upper decks of the parking structure, he called an open parking space within the first eight spots and you can mark it because he nailed it like a Roman Centurion during a crucifixion.

The main reason for the trip was to grab a smoothie from Haagen-Dazs. Wham subtly set me up for the smoothie shanghai by dropping the “I forgot my wallet in my other capris, do you mind buying please?” line right as we walked in the doors. Being the generous fellow that I am, I had no problem picking up the tab. As we walked up to the counter, I noticed that one smoothie, I repeat one smoothie, cost $5.99. I figured it was part of the experience and nuance of shopping at the ritzy mall on the rich side of town, so I just kept my mouth shut so as to not seem like a cheapskate and a newbie. Wham got me good on that smoothie shanghai.

After that we took a brief walk about and found the perfect spots next to the babbling sounds of the fountain where rich people throw away their change. I’m not quite sure why people would do this but I guess you have to be rich to understand but it did afford us a beautiful panoramic view of the elevators and escalators.

It was quite the diverse crowd. The full-on matching sweat pants, sweatshirt (not track suit, mind you but sweat suit) guy was there creeping on the crowd. The speed walking escalator descender was risking her life and others as she sprinted down the moving staircase like a boulder on a butter hill. I’m not sure if she is aware that three kids per year die in escalator tragedies. This is a service announcement: Please tie your laces cause escalators are dangerous places.

Of course being two good-looking gentlemen, we got quite a few double-walk-bys from a wide range of Somerset’s sexy shoppers. From the Thick-skies to the Petite Pixies we got checked out more than a National Geographic magazine at an all boys middle school library.