Get 2 Choppin

Sometimes in life we get caught up in the emotion of things and as a result we all express ourselves in different ways. Sporting events are the best example of the wide range of routes available when it comes to the art of expressing ourselves. We have all seen the shirtless child dancing on the big screen (next to the hot mom), the crazy face painted fan screaming in the camera as a reporter tries to do an interview, the drunken adult male jumping up in excitement and raining beer on the other fans surrounding him as his team scores a goal or hits a pivotal three, the sultry bimbo pressing her tantalizing ta-tas up against the glass (if you haven’t I suggest a Youtube session is in order), the close up of the losing cheerleaders as a tear runs down their face because they know they are going to be getting “hate humped” later that night by Johnny Choke Artist, or the two random dudes doing the jumping hug routine until they realize that one, they don’t know each other, and two, they are both slightly aroused by it and confused at the same time.

     That is why I find it absolutely necessary to incorporate the concept of the random WOO! This random WOO! idea is a must because it allows an individual to keep that reserve level of emotional fuel at a manageable level especially in times of excitement. For instance, if you are standing at the bar with your buddies as they are talking to a couple of lovely ladies this is a prime example of a time that calls for the random WOO! It not only calls attention to yourself but it inconspicuously draws the attention of the ladies away from your friends and thus attacks as an unintended cock block.

     Any place where you have to stand in line for an extended period of time can be viewed as another perfect opportunity for a random WOO! or two. If you are in line at the bank or the Secretary of State (Department of Motor Vehicles for some of you) just start dropping the WOO!s and people will either think you’re crazy and get out of your way or if you throw in the fake Bluetooth and drop the line, “and the contractions are how far apart?” they may believe that you are about to be a father and graciously offer you their spot in line.  

       The most delicate place to drop the random WOO! is at a funeral or at a wedding ceremony (anybody can drop them at the reception but you get high marks if you drop the random WOO! at a wedding you have crashed). This is for the expert WOO!ers only. I once dropped the random WOO! when the priest asked if there was any objections to the two getting married. Don’t worry I covered my tracks by saying, “Sorry, I just won a hundred dollars because I was sure the bridesmaid he cheated on his fiancé with wouldn’t say anything” then I ran out of there and yelled, “WOO! that was close”.