Get 2 Choppin

The latest trend in photography, the unsuspecting posterization of people, hasn’t quite taken a firm hold in the mainstream media but here at get2choppin.com where it really counts it is spreading faster than the herpes virus at a college beer pong tournament. It may seem like it is all fun and games when it comes to posterizing somebody, but I must advise you that this is not an easy maneuver to pull off and you must be agile, mobile, and tactile. It is really all about timing and knowing your surroundings. Be warned that when things go wrong they go wrong in a bad way. Take a long hard look at the following photograph and I will explain the apparent dangers and pitfalls to an ill-advised attempt at posterizing somebody.

If you take a quick glimpse, you might assume that Johnny Blue has pulled off an amazing posterization of Wham Dickham. Au contraire, mon frere! Look closer.

First let’s start with the lower body support. Johnny Blue is like the combination of Daryl Dawkins and Robert “Tractor” Traylor of posterizing, for him it is all about power and getting the most out of that power. There should be no attempt at finesse. The one legged support is strictly a finesse move and typically pulled off by people that, um, I don’t know how to say this tactfully but are at their in season playing weight. Let’s just say Johnny’s year round training sessions involve a pitcher and not the kind throwing batting practice if you know what I mean.

Second, follow the thumb of Wham Dickham and take a look at Johnny Blues’ expression of terror. If that isn’t an “oh shit, what’ve I got myself into now” look then I don’t know what is. The photographer nailed the exact moment of no return on this one for Johnny Blues. Here is a rule of thumb, Johnny, from my days back in sniper school, “if it ain’t in your scope, don’t pull the trigger”. This move was above and beyond your skill set. The risk obviously outweighed the reward, which brings me to my final point.

Third, on the right hand side above Wham's shoulder is the unsuspecting guy that is about to get crushed. Like the little Japanese guy trying to drive away in his one cylinder piece of foreign crap as Godzilla recklessly stumbles through the town destroying everything in his path, this guy was in for a rude awakening. Johnny ain't the twinkle toes he use to be when he was chasing down forwards and knocking down threes back in the day, and we love him for it but this guy wasn't the happiest camper in the KOA campgrounds if you are picking up the broken glass that I'm putting down.

It was a valiant attempt Johnny Blue, but you aren’t quite ready to take off the training wheels or in this case make sure you put on the safety harness before you try to fly on the trapeze son cause there's never a safety net when you go for the gusto in the hot new world of posterization.