Wednesday
Mar182009
This Groucho Knows How To Hit His Marks...
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 at 06:32PM
The clocks have been turned forward and all the little birdies are starting to go tweet, tweet, tweet. Spring is in the air, literally the other other day I was driving down a road here in Southeast Michigan when wham some guy next to me bottoms out on a monsterous pothole and there goes one of the front springs of his car down the road, boy-oy-oing, boy-oy-oing.
Speaking of spring, I saw my first red-breasted Robin the other day. Just don't ask me why she painted 'em red, cause blue is her color. I mean I ain't complaining cause those tantalizing twins had more bounce than a pogo factory on test day. Bada-bing, Bada-boom.
Speaking of boom, seems like were in a boom economy since Obama took over and by boom I mean the thing has exploded in his face like a cheap gag cigar at a bachelor party but don't worry no one from AIG got hurt.
Speaking of hurt, did you hear the one about the ginsu salesman who lost his job so he decided to chase after his dream of playing for the Tigers? Probably not cause he didn't make the cut. I'm on fire. I got more one-liners than an Ohio State football player's basketweaving term paper.
Did you hear the one about the Easter Bunny, Judas, and Jesus? Well the Easter Bunny, Judas, and Jesus walk into a bar looking to have a good friday. After quite a few rounds, Jesus is whipped and dead to the world. At the end of night, it is just Judas and a passed out Jesus. The Easter bunny has obviously hopped out on the tab. When the waitress brings the bill, Judas says, "Sorry but I haven't got paid yet, but don't worry my brother will be back to pay for our sins".
Relax, no need to get cross with me. I know I crossed the line and sorry if that leaves a bad taste in your mouth like a rotten deviled egg at an Easter Sunday brunch.
By the way what is Jesus' favorite flower? The reincarnation. Okay now I'm done.
Speaking of spring, I saw my first red-breasted Robin the other day. Just don't ask me why she painted 'em red, cause blue is her color. I mean I ain't complaining cause those tantalizing twins had more bounce than a pogo factory on test day. Bada-bing, Bada-boom.
Speaking of boom, seems like were in a boom economy since Obama took over and by boom I mean the thing has exploded in his face like a cheap gag cigar at a bachelor party but don't worry no one from AIG got hurt.
Speaking of hurt, did you hear the one about the ginsu salesman who lost his job so he decided to chase after his dream of playing for the Tigers? Probably not cause he didn't make the cut. I'm on fire. I got more one-liners than an Ohio State football player's basketweaving term paper.
Did you hear the one about the Easter Bunny, Judas, and Jesus? Well the Easter Bunny, Judas, and Jesus walk into a bar looking to have a good friday. After quite a few rounds, Jesus is whipped and dead to the world. At the end of night, it is just Judas and a passed out Jesus. The Easter bunny has obviously hopped out on the tab. When the waitress brings the bill, Judas says, "Sorry but I haven't got paid yet, but don't worry my brother will be back to pay for our sins".
Relax, no need to get cross with me. I know I crossed the line and sorry if that leaves a bad taste in your mouth like a rotten deviled egg at an Easter Sunday brunch.
By the way what is Jesus' favorite flower? The reincarnation. Okay now I'm done.
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