Get 2 Choppin

The concept of being posterized is nothing new. Young boys for decades have stretched out the sacred scrolls of sports and placed them on the altar of idol worship, the bedroom wall.  Dr. J, as if stretching to some invisible basketball hoop in the sky, getting ready to finger roll the ball into the basket. Michael Jordan forever elevated above the ground poised to drain the game winning shot. Bobby Orr in mid-air like superman scoring a goal that will live on into eternity. Vince Carter serving up some time transcending tea-baggage to Yao Ming.

The key in those pictures is you never want to be that guy that gets posterized. You do not want some kid opening a time capsule in the year 2099 going all squirrelly cause he sees nuts on your forehead. You do not want to be like Claude Lemieux snacking on a Darren McCarty knuckle sandwich the rest of your life. You don’t want to be the lesbian goalie in the background with your big goalie gloves covering your tear-stained eyes as Brandi Chastain flaunts her flat abs and flatter boobs (don’t get me wrong I would though) and you sure as hell don’t want to be the friend that gets posterized by one of your buddies.

The latest and greatest craze in the field of zingology, an offshoot of the infamous look-away pose that we have mastered here at get2choppin.com, is when you yourself posterize an unsuspecting photo participant. I’m providing two examples of people that have been posterized for the sake of posterity. Wham Dickham (who by the way pulls one of the highly risky and challenging counter-maneuvers: the super sad look-away) and K.C. the Sunshine Man (at the top of the page).

I, John E. Bravo, pulled this move out my hat like a magician pulls a crushed dead rabbit out of his flattened top hat, quickly and hopefully without anybody seeing him. The posterizing of your friends is a complex move but I have to say the ultimate posterization move is if you ruin some unsuspecting stranger’s photo by pulling the Sneaky Samurai Slam move. At the last possible minute running up and jumping on the shoulder of the someone in the back as the picture is snapped takes impeccable timing and is considered the Bigfoot shot of posterizations, that is there are a lot of shots that may look like the real deal but after further authentication they are just a big set-up.     

All I can say is if you are going to get plastered, I hope it is at a bar and not on someone’s wall.