Get 2 Choppin

You probably thought the fucking prick was on an extended vacation, admit it you fucking assholes you completely forgot about the fucking prick you good for nothing rat bastards. Well I am back and I am coming at you like a blind fucking ninja with razor blades in his numchucks. Beeeeeeyyyyahhhhhhh Bitches!

Yesterday I was out and about when guess what happens? Fucking don’t guess that was a fucking rhetorical question you dumb fucks because you know I will tell you what fucking happened and I will keep it fucking simple so you fucking retards can understand. Yeah and for you PC fucks that don’t like the word retard go fucking drop a dollar in a Shriner’s boot and slowly chew your fucking tootsie roll and get out of my face.

Anyway yesterday I am sitting at a light when this dumb fuck in front of me decides to slow roll it off the green light. So what do I do, well I lay on my horn and yell out the window, “Oh you want fucking slow roll it you prick, well I will slow roll my foot up your ass and you can lick the salt off my fucking laces”. Of course while this asshole is slow rolling some other slapdick goes speeding by and cuts both of us off. Well don’t think I forgot what that motherfucker looked like and wouldn’t you know it at the next light sitting in the exact left turn lane that I am using is the same Speedy McSpeed-a lot but now all of sudden this douche bag forgot that green means go and just decides to sit there like a Vietnamese monk on fire except for I am the one burning up.

Well I whipped by that fucker and gave him my business card for assholes, the middle finger salute. Then I almost puke in my mouth because I have to fucking drive by one of these new VW bugs with the fucking fake flower in the dash. Get a clue you bug bastard. Then there is Mr. SUV guy who gives me a dirty look because I am talking to myself. Well I turn and scream, “So what if I’m all jacked up on caffeine and talking to myself, I mean hell you ain’t calling me on the phone to talk about my day, oh that’s right cause you ain’t my fucking friend and I wouldn’t give you my number if I was Liberace and you were the last fucking gay dude on the planet”.

Then there is Mrs. Mom in here damn dusty Subaru. I get it you are good enough to get American dust on your car but you aren’t good enough to drive an American car. What are you fucking waiting to wash that fucking foreign piece of shit until you find a car wash that uses Evian you Anti-American son of bitch.

That gets me to my final rant about Miss Perfect Curly Hair. Oh don’t think I didn’t notice you and your perfect curly hair that you probably got done because you want me to ask you out for Valentine’s Day. Well screw you, I ain’t that easily swayed. What do you take me for you good for nothing, curly haired skeez? I’m a fucking prick, get over it or get on it.