Thursday
Oct292009
Choppin Warning: Bad Bitness at Anytime Fitness...
Thursday, October 29, 2009 at 03:58AM
Recently I, John E. Bravo, was expelled from the local Anytime Fitness franchise affiliate, located in Madison Heights, Michigan, without any notification on the part of the owner, who I will call Jaybird because he is a gutless piece of chicken poo (he also owns the Berkley Anytime Fitness).
Apparently I was ratted out by two "trainers" there because I carried around a stopwatch while helping out a friend implement an exercise program. One fat black "trainer" who sits on the dumbbell rack the entire session while on his bluetooth and a skinny white fitness competitor "trainer" who specializes in 20 minute cardio blasts with clients who aren't members were appalled because I actually taught this friend something and simultaneously put them through a workout that made them break a sweat.
The 2nd hand accusations were flying at me left and right like alternating biceps curls and were about as spot on as the lo-fat/ high-carb diets of the 80's and 90's that plummeted this country into a diabetic downfall. They had about as much strength behind them as an aerobic instructors punch in a street fight.
First, it kills me that someone who is a "fitness" competitor (which relatively speaking has nothing to do with true overall fitness besides that they can maybe do the splits, and a one arm push-up while looking good in a bikini and a bad spray-on orange tan) would be your ultimate fitness resource or that the "big" guy with the baggy sweater and sweat pants who could bench the world but would die of heart attck from a couple laps on track would be a sound hire for representing your "anytime fitness" business.
2nd, if you are going to "expel" somebody from your gym at least have the cojones to stick your fat fingers into your phone and leave a message you lowly coward. I could honestly care less if I workout at your shit hole gym but have some integrity in dealing with the people that keep your fat greasy fingers plump. By the way, a bit of advice you might want to be more concerned about the treadmill that doesn't shut off (and I'm not telling you which one jerk) and somebody accidentally stepping on it and face planting (again) and suing your pathetic businessman ass then me trying to teach somebody proper mechanics and how not to kill themselves in your gym.
Apparently I was ratted out by two "trainers" there because I carried around a stopwatch while helping out a friend implement an exercise program. One fat black "trainer" who sits on the dumbbell rack the entire session while on his bluetooth and a skinny white fitness competitor "trainer" who specializes in 20 minute cardio blasts with clients who aren't members were appalled because I actually taught this friend something and simultaneously put them through a workout that made them break a sweat.
The 2nd hand accusations were flying at me left and right like alternating biceps curls and were about as spot on as the lo-fat/ high-carb diets of the 80's and 90's that plummeted this country into a diabetic downfall. They had about as much strength behind them as an aerobic instructors punch in a street fight.
First, it kills me that someone who is a "fitness" competitor (which relatively speaking has nothing to do with true overall fitness besides that they can maybe do the splits, and a one arm push-up while looking good in a bikini and a bad spray-on orange tan) would be your ultimate fitness resource or that the "big" guy with the baggy sweater and sweat pants who could bench the world but would die of heart attck from a couple laps on track would be a sound hire for representing your "anytime fitness" business.
2nd, if you are going to "expel" somebody from your gym at least have the cojones to stick your fat fingers into your phone and leave a message you lowly coward. I could honestly care less if I workout at your shit hole gym but have some integrity in dealing with the people that keep your fat greasy fingers plump. By the way, a bit of advice you might want to be more concerned about the treadmill that doesn't shut off (and I'm not telling you which one jerk) and somebody accidentally stepping on it and face planting (again) and suing your pathetic businessman ass then me trying to teach somebody proper mechanics and how not to kill themselves in your gym.

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