Get 2 Choppin

Yesterday was the first day of fall and with the change of seasons also comes a breath of fresh air on the boob tube. The new fall line-up is just beginning with its numerous season premieres this week but I am a little worried with all the great new shows you may miss out on a few of the more obscure ones that are getting rave reviews.

This week on the outdoor channel is the season premiere of Pimp My Tree House.  I am afraid to say that this once iconic symbol, of the innocent journey of young men and woman as they explore and experience a unique sense of freedom for the first time in their tree house, has become corrupted into a den of illicit behavior. It has been transformed from an ABC (All Boy’s Club) into a DEF (Drug Enhanced Frenzy) Jam.

Parents have no one to blame but themselves because they have basically created a laboratory that their children can experiment with such sordid behavior as sniffing pixie sticks and kissing girls, which then leads to the gateway drug of smoking doobers. The tree house crowd is basically the next generation of boozers, losers, and dopers. That is where Pimp My Tree House comes into play. 

The premise of this show is that it will transform that wooden hut of hedonistic behavior that you have made for your children into a pimped out pad for Mom and Dad. Imagine if you will a place you can call your own with everything you need to escape reality for a couple of hours or maybe a whole week.

It could consist of a couple of leather massaging recliners with a 42” HDTV with the latest video game systems and satellite TV that would be the centerpiece. A kicking surround sound stereo system to drown out the whining coming from your kids or even your significant other. A fully stocked stainless steel refrigerator with numerous Adult beverages and snacks for the big game or the Lifetime Movie Marathon for the ladies would be in the corner. There would of course be a WiFi connection for checking fantasy stats and for the ladies finding recipes. Possibly a couch so you could take a nice nap on a crisp fall day. For safety sakes it would have a big slide to get you out of the tree in case you enjoyed to many adult beverages.

This is just the tip of the iceberg and you will have to tune in to see the rest of the conversions but remember kids if you go out to your old tree house and you see a neon sign blinking that says, “If the tree is a shakin’, mommy and daddy are baby makin’” then just know that your tree house has been Pimped.