Get 2 Choppin

If you haven’t heard of Neal Downer, you are in for a little surprise. This local cable celebrity who migrated from the constrictive South has hosted such programs as, “Man, you’re driving me daisy” and “Some say nature, others say nurture; I say let’s nurture nature”.  His work in the field of botany, zoology, and ecology is unprecedented. He is most known for his theme song, “zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-day, my, oh my, I’m super gay because it’s sooo nice outside today”.

            Today he has been kind enough to take us on a tour through his Zen garden.  So without further adieu I will give it over to Neal Downer.

            Hiiiii there! I’m Neal Downer and I’m going to take you on a little stroll through my Zen garden. So take off your shoes and come along. As you can see to the right of us are my two love doves, Sodom and Somorrah. Hey there little doves. How you doing? You’re so coo coo coooool you little doves.

            Well look what we got here everybody. Hey there, Mr. Grasshopper. How you doing? You’re so coooool with those long powerful legs. I wish I had some legs like that to hop into my bed at night. Let’s move on people.

            Well look over there on the privacy fence. Hey there, Mr. Squirrel. How you doing? You’re so coooool the way you balance on that skinny little fence. I bet you would do quite well in the circus with all those tightrope walkers with their tight pants and taut rope they walk on with that big stick they carry.

            Well look over there by my Bonsai tree. Hey there, Mr. Bluebird. How you doing? Why don’t you come sit on my shoulder, Mr. Bluebird? Ah, you’re so cooool the way you land on the branch of my Bonsai tree. I sure do appreciate you landing there, Mr. Bluebird.

            Surprise! Surprise! Look who I see over there in the corner of my rock and sand garden. Hey there, Mr. Groundhog. How you doing? You’re so cooool the way you dug yourself a little secret tunnel to get into my garden. I wish I could come in your little secret tunnel, Mr. Groundhog but then it wouldn’t be secret. Now would it? Don’t mind me Mr. Groundhog I will just rake around your little secret tunnel for a minute. I won’t do your secret tunnel no harm now you hear me.

            Well that’s it for the tour, folks. I hope you had a pleasant time, cause I sure know I did. Come again now.