Monday
Jul142008
Cock-A-Doodle-Don't Mind Me....
Monday, July 14, 2008 at 07:52PM
Have you ever, through no fault of your own besides your good looks and bad timing, been involved in an unintentional cock block?
Well as of a week ago I could honestly say that I was not completely sure if I had been involved in an unintentional cock block, I mean I can forget how good looking I am sometimes (even though I am repeatedly reminded of my dashing good looks on a daily basis, there was the time I spent six weeks alone deep in the Amazon rain forest chasing down a cure for Bellows bad case of streakitis, if it wasn't for the occassional peek into the rushing water I truly would have had no idea why the Pigmy cannibals from Choppapicu, Peru were bowing down reverently like I was some Mythical Giant from Mt. GoodLooks) but I could not recollect to the best of my ability any unintentional cock block situation. That is until this past week.
Anyway Last week I had just gotten done with an extremely difficult workout involving a school bus some dental floss and an extremely hot and heavy meteorite fragment and was walking back to my place of residence when I decided to take a different route through the parking lot of an Outback Steak House.
As I am walking across the parking lot I spy a couple standing in the ready to go position if you know what I mean. It was her car and she was pinned in the crack between the open door and the frame completely submissive to him making his move, he was seductively leaning in toward her with his hands on the door and the top of the car. His back was to mine. A kiss was about to happen and then....disaster strikes.
She catches a glimpse of me. My tanned arms are glistening in the sun like a Greek statue that still has arms. My perfect calf to ankle ratio is dialed in tighter than a fat guy in phone booth. Her hands come up faster than Jackie Chan stopping a flying round house to the face. He turns and suddenly his shoulders sag like an old person's tricep. He is defeated by the unintentional cock block.
The question I have is for you Choppin' nation, in this situation do you let this inconvenience of a beautiful human being walking by stop you from making your move?
I mean obviously these were not the best looking people in the world (compared to the choppin' legends) and by her frame it would appear she didn't just order the salad at Outback if you are picking up what I am laying down. So after putting in the dime and the time, why would you let anything stop you from getting your chance at a game of tonsil hockey especially if you were as desperate as these two obviously were, I mean they weren't even using protection. I always wear a mouthguard in cases like this on a first date, you never know if the other person is a qualified kisser. One wrong turn and you're looking at a chipped tooth and a black eye.
Well as of a week ago I could honestly say that I was not completely sure if I had been involved in an unintentional cock block, I mean I can forget how good looking I am sometimes (even though I am repeatedly reminded of my dashing good looks on a daily basis, there was the time I spent six weeks alone deep in the Amazon rain forest chasing down a cure for Bellows bad case of streakitis, if it wasn't for the occassional peek into the rushing water I truly would have had no idea why the Pigmy cannibals from Choppapicu, Peru were bowing down reverently like I was some Mythical Giant from Mt. GoodLooks) but I could not recollect to the best of my ability any unintentional cock block situation. That is until this past week.
Anyway Last week I had just gotten done with an extremely difficult workout involving a school bus some dental floss and an extremely hot and heavy meteorite fragment and was walking back to my place of residence when I decided to take a different route through the parking lot of an Outback Steak House.
As I am walking across the parking lot I spy a couple standing in the ready to go position if you know what I mean. It was her car and she was pinned in the crack between the open door and the frame completely submissive to him making his move, he was seductively leaning in toward her with his hands on the door and the top of the car. His back was to mine. A kiss was about to happen and then....disaster strikes.
She catches a glimpse of me. My tanned arms are glistening in the sun like a Greek statue that still has arms. My perfect calf to ankle ratio is dialed in tighter than a fat guy in phone booth. Her hands come up faster than Jackie Chan stopping a flying round house to the face. He turns and suddenly his shoulders sag like an old person's tricep. He is defeated by the unintentional cock block.
The question I have is for you Choppin' nation, in this situation do you let this inconvenience of a beautiful human being walking by stop you from making your move?
I mean obviously these were not the best looking people in the world (compared to the choppin' legends) and by her frame it would appear she didn't just order the salad at Outback if you are picking up what I am laying down. So after putting in the dime and the time, why would you let anything stop you from getting your chance at a game of tonsil hockey especially if you were as desperate as these two obviously were, I mean they weren't even using protection. I always wear a mouthguard in cases like this on a first date, you never know if the other person is a qualified kisser. One wrong turn and you're looking at a chipped tooth and a black eye.
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