Wednesday
May282008
Los Pantalones de Senorita
Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 05:10PM
Hello there. My name is Juan Ecardo Bravado and I am the distant cousin of one, John E. Bravo on his padre's side. I come from a long line of passionate lovers that dates back centuries to what we here in Mexico refer to as the time of the violation of the blossoming cacti.
I have it in my blood to be a wonderful and compassionate lover that with the slightest whisper in the ear and my soft warm breath on the nape of a lovely girl can turn the trickle of an emotion into the raging river of el fuego that is her heart's desire.
I wish to tell you my secrets so that your woman can also hear the 1000 members of the Mariachi band as they strum their guitars and blast their trumpets in her soul as you perform a sound check with your mic in her recording studio if you know what kinda of pinata I am trying to hit upon.
The key is atmosphere. It starts with lighting. It starts with el fuego. To have the proper fire of a passionate and considerate lover you must travel north of the Yucatan Penisula into the Redwood forests of California because only a tree that large could supply me with enough firewood to burn equally as long as my desires burn for her body. You on the other hand may want to settle for a newspaper, some gasoline and a small stump.
Next you need a place to make love like the heavens have been torn open and God himself is looking down upon you and taking notes. I suggest a hardwood floor with a carpet. Personally at my love adobe I killed with my own hands the last burmese tiger-bear and have laid his soft fur on the floor. As he has sacrificied for me, I have sacrificied for him, that is one virgin a week for an entire year. Wink, Wink, nod, nod. You can just use a beach towel or a one of those soft blankets you stole from the Holiday Inn.
The next key ingredient is the music. There is only one singer that is worthy to be played while I make sweet love and that is the one and only Enrique Inglesias. He will melt the hard outer shell of your senorita like a piece of chocolate in a little kids pocket on a warm summer day.
The last ingredient is that of scent. I rely on the powerful musk of the male burro. At first it will be just you, but by the end of your love making session the two of you will smell like two sweaty field burros that have spent the day plowing the fields of love.
This is my secret. Now do with it what you may, but beware of the power of the passionate and considerate lover that is Juan Ecardo Bravado's greatest secret. Oh yeah and as for los pantalones de senorita I casually toss them on the horn's of a wild bull moose that I hunted and killed with some floss and a kitchen knife but you may want to fold them and place them on a chair.
I have it in my blood to be a wonderful and compassionate lover that with the slightest whisper in the ear and my soft warm breath on the nape of a lovely girl can turn the trickle of an emotion into the raging river of el fuego that is her heart's desire.
I wish to tell you my secrets so that your woman can also hear the 1000 members of the Mariachi band as they strum their guitars and blast their trumpets in her soul as you perform a sound check with your mic in her recording studio if you know what kinda of pinata I am trying to hit upon.
The key is atmosphere. It starts with lighting. It starts with el fuego. To have the proper fire of a passionate and considerate lover you must travel north of the Yucatan Penisula into the Redwood forests of California because only a tree that large could supply me with enough firewood to burn equally as long as my desires burn for her body. You on the other hand may want to settle for a newspaper, some gasoline and a small stump.
Next you need a place to make love like the heavens have been torn open and God himself is looking down upon you and taking notes. I suggest a hardwood floor with a carpet. Personally at my love adobe I killed with my own hands the last burmese tiger-bear and have laid his soft fur on the floor. As he has sacrificied for me, I have sacrificied for him, that is one virgin a week for an entire year. Wink, Wink, nod, nod. You can just use a beach towel or a one of those soft blankets you stole from the Holiday Inn.
The next key ingredient is the music. There is only one singer that is worthy to be played while I make sweet love and that is the one and only Enrique Inglesias. He will melt the hard outer shell of your senorita like a piece of chocolate in a little kids pocket on a warm summer day.
The last ingredient is that of scent. I rely on the powerful musk of the male burro. At first it will be just you, but by the end of your love making session the two of you will smell like two sweaty field burros that have spent the day plowing the fields of love.
This is my secret. Now do with it what you may, but beware of the power of the passionate and considerate lover that is Juan Ecardo Bravado's greatest secret. Oh yeah and as for los pantalones de senorita I casually toss them on the horn's of a wild bull moose that I hunted and killed with some floss and a kitchen knife but you may want to fold them and place them on a chair.
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