Monday
May192008
Choppin' file: Tough Guy Alert
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 04:43PM
I feel it is my duty to warn the community as a whole that there is a tough guy alert in effect and that choppin' people should be on the look out for anyone that matches this description because he is dangerously acting like a douche bag and it may be highly contagious.
The perp was last seen driving a red Camaro with the vanity license plate REVNRUN. He was in his early to mid 40's and was sporting a cheesy moustache with a curly perm type hairdo and blaring some 80's hair band music on his boomin' system. Be careful because while stopped at lights he will look over at you and blow you kisses and then immediately bury his speedometer as he passes two cars to get in front of everybody. He was wearing a tank top that showed off his hairy back and forearms and the car had a sticker that read "Wanna bang?” So if you come in contact with someone matching this description I highly suggest you pull the classic 80's move, the Top gun. You slam on your brakes and let him go right by.
There is also a tough gal alert in the late morning hours this past Saturday. I spotted a rather full-figured woman wearing a pink shirt that said, "Got B@tchy?” I assumed that she meant to propose the question "Got bitchy?" despite the shirts obvious veiled attempt at creating multiple meanings (like "got botchy?" as in botchy ball), which was rather nice of the t-shirt designer seeing that said woman wore this shirt in a public library where numerous young adults could ask themselves or maybe even their parents whether they or anyone they knew "got bitchy?". It was at this point that I realized that I had "no bitchy" but that she was probably loaded up on enough "bitchy" to make her want to knock over a donut shop and strangle a skinny person with her extra large underwear.
This of course got me thinking about the whole "got milk?" campaign. They should spice it up with a maybe an adult industry star and cross promote. They could have a picture with a girl and her milk moustache and they could have some dude announcer say, "Got Milk? Wink, wink, nod, nod. Hey Honey thanks for taking one for the team and throwing that mouth over my rocket launcher, sorry I lied about when that grenade would go off. It must have been a bad timing mechanism." Of course in the background would be "me so horny" by two live crew. Get it cows have horns.
The perp was last seen driving a red Camaro with the vanity license plate REVNRUN. He was in his early to mid 40's and was sporting a cheesy moustache with a curly perm type hairdo and blaring some 80's hair band music on his boomin' system. Be careful because while stopped at lights he will look over at you and blow you kisses and then immediately bury his speedometer as he passes two cars to get in front of everybody. He was wearing a tank top that showed off his hairy back and forearms and the car had a sticker that read "Wanna bang?” So if you come in contact with someone matching this description I highly suggest you pull the classic 80's move, the Top gun. You slam on your brakes and let him go right by.
There is also a tough gal alert in the late morning hours this past Saturday. I spotted a rather full-figured woman wearing a pink shirt that said, "Got B@tchy?” I assumed that she meant to propose the question "Got bitchy?" despite the shirts obvious veiled attempt at creating multiple meanings (like "got botchy?" as in botchy ball), which was rather nice of the t-shirt designer seeing that said woman wore this shirt in a public library where numerous young adults could ask themselves or maybe even their parents whether they or anyone they knew "got bitchy?". It was at this point that I realized that I had "no bitchy" but that she was probably loaded up on enough "bitchy" to make her want to knock over a donut shop and strangle a skinny person with her extra large underwear.
This of course got me thinking about the whole "got milk?" campaign. They should spice it up with a maybe an adult industry star and cross promote. They could have a picture with a girl and her milk moustache and they could have some dude announcer say, "Got Milk? Wink, wink, nod, nod. Hey Honey thanks for taking one for the team and throwing that mouth over my rocket launcher, sorry I lied about when that grenade would go off. It must have been a bad timing mechanism." Of course in the background would be "me so horny" by two live crew. Get it cows have horns.
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