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Tuesday
Apr292008

Have you ever noticed.....

Have you ever noticed how much people that you hang out with look like your Beanie Baby collection. I know you all have one, and don't try to pull the "that is gay" card because I know it is but come on you know it is a little secret guilty pleasure that we all have. Right? Right?

 

Take for instance Ready Eddy the Rottweiler. Late at night when I am performing my Beanie Baby theatre production of Choppin: The Broadway Musical. Ready Eddy takes the place of Eduardo Boydez and he protects and guards the secret Choppin' headquarters from any evil onions of the week trying to sneak in and steal our Choppin' Cool Crystals. This Rottdog is not a hotdog when it comes to performing either, he can break it down on the bass and still shake you down on the strip search (that's the end of ACT I).



Enter in Wham Dickham the wolf that knows when to bite and when to lick 'em. This ferocious yet lovable creature knows how to have a howlin' good time. He likes to travel in packs but don't let that fool you, because he is one sexy solo customer when it comes to carrying the Choppin' cool crystals to the people so that they can see and feel, even if it is just for a brief moment, the greatness of a Choppin' legend. When that clock strikes four in the afternoon on a thirsty Thursday, just watch this legend transform from Wham to lamb-eater. He is the werewolf of Choppinville.  



The moose is on the loose. I play this big muscular, yet gracefully lean creature who saunters through the intellectual fields of choppinness, chomping away at the core of what is the meaning behind the Choppin' Cool Crystals. The whole time just trying to relay to people what it is like to be a Choppin' legend. I may look like a cool caribou but just watch out for my flying mooseknuckle upside your head if you mess with me or my friends. 



The last actor to this addition of Beanie Baby theatre is Kruzer the Kow. The reason I have chosen for him to take on this role is because this character has been milking a streak of being not so lucky in love and Kruzer being the excellent thespian he is, has deeply immersed himself in the virginal lifestyle so as to make his performance seem authentic. Kruzer the Kow is moooving in the wrong direction when it comes to taking the bull by the horns and breaking the streak and he has become an udder disgrace to the male race, but just like in Shakespeare's time I needed a male to play a female role. So here you go Kruzer. Of course the only problem with this is, that Kruzer the Kow has four teats which is four more teats than the real Kruzer has seen in the last year. Oh well as the world churns so does his loins burn.  

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