Get 2 Choppin

Why is it every where you go these days when you step to the checkout counter of some store they have to bombard you with the question "Do you have one of our super-duper shopper savings scan cards?" What kind of b.s. is this? why can't I just get the same specials as everyone else? Is there something that makes me a better human being if I have ten little scan cards on my key chain. I mean you have the grocery store scan card (and you probably have more than one of them). Then you have the electronic stores like Best Buy. You stop at a gas station to get you four dollar a gallon butt raping and you scan your card to save three cents. Oh yeah you can't forget the health store and on top of that you probably have a library scan card and maybe even gym scan card.  Gee get off my back you industry bastards.

I think it is utter crap that these big chains are just manipulating us with a few pennies of savings so that they can scan our every move and every purchase. You don't need the grocery store knowing that you are buying Preparation H by the case because your ass is on fire from a late night game of pin the tail in your ass, I mean donkey. You don't need the gas station to know that you are buying a ton of the little pine scented car freshners because you like to smoke the may jane. You sure as hell don't need the electronics store knowing that you bought Titanic and Hannah Montana and that you don't have anybody under twenty five in your household.

They are just stockpiling all this information in a little database somewhere so that someday when the government needs something they can just show up on your door step with a print out of a list of your tendencies. For instances you may buy an excessive amount of lube and phallic shaped vegetables but does that make you a weirdo. It is purely coincidence most likely but they will twist it around on you and make you seem like some perv that gets his jollies from playing rectum wreck 'em.  Those government G-man will show up and question you as to why you have a Victoria Secrets scan card that shows a ton of female underwear purchases yet there is no female in your house (by the way they won't understand either that homeless woman like nice underwear too, so don't use that truth).

So I say get off the grid. Dump the scan cards and do what you please with your vegetables and lube and female underwear (feel free to comment with any suggestions of what you really do with your vegetables and lube and female underwear) and say Mr. G-man, man you grind my gears.