Friday
Mar142008
Don't Be That Guy......
Friday, March 14, 2008 at 05:31PM
Every so often in life we run into That Guy or unfortunately we become That Guy ourselves through our own actions (often inebriated actions but actions none the less). So this post will be a reoccuring column to help you see the sorts of behavior that could make you That Guy. Consider it a pre-emptive strike against stupid unchoppin' behavior. Don't thank me, it is the least I could do, but your welcome.
Don't be That Guy that pulls the Houdini act for the first time on his friends when he has been drinking. This occurs when the offer of a designated driver has been placed before you so you can rip it, but you decide to just up and walk out and "get a cab" (for legal purposes we have to say get a cab) or maybe just walk the 5 miles home without telling any of your friends or saying goodbye or paying the bill.
The Houdini move is an under appreciated move and can be utilized in an effective way but don't be That Guy that tries to do the move without having any experience under your belt. The best training can occur on blind dates or maybe family reunions and it should be practiced sober first, then work the drinking into it. The blind date can be the hard one because timing is everything. I would suggest if the date is taking a nose dive toward the crapper-zone you should attempt to Houdini before the meal is ordered, if the girl gets all crazy after it is ordered, I would recommend showing some class by saying you forgot your Beano in the car and then leave a 20 dollar bill and a pre-written note on the chair that says, "It's not your fault, it is mine. This should cover my half, I hope you have enough for the tip. "
The family reunion is also effective training ground. You make your rounds to the "important" family members, that is the hot cousins and the relatives with money that might leave you some. Hit the oldest ones first, you want to be fresh in their memory, if they have Alzheimers then just pretend to be whatever person they think you are. Play along. When you see the relatives that would be considered the "black sheep" of the family make a beeline for your Grandma's potato salad, grab a plateful, eat it up (Grandma's always make the best potato salad and you wouldn't want to miss out on that) then say you have to go get that old family photo album and get the hell out of dodge. The Houdini. Viola!
Until you have put in the proper training though don't be That Guy that tries to pull this move off. The set up is critical and you can never tip your hand. You have to keep the element of surprise so that one minute you are there and the next you are gone in the blink of an eye.
Don't be That Guy that pulls the Houdini act for the first time on his friends when he has been drinking. This occurs when the offer of a designated driver has been placed before you so you can rip it, but you decide to just up and walk out and "get a cab" (for legal purposes we have to say get a cab) or maybe just walk the 5 miles home without telling any of your friends or saying goodbye or paying the bill.
The Houdini move is an under appreciated move and can be utilized in an effective way but don't be That Guy that tries to do the move without having any experience under your belt. The best training can occur on blind dates or maybe family reunions and it should be practiced sober first, then work the drinking into it. The blind date can be the hard one because timing is everything. I would suggest if the date is taking a nose dive toward the crapper-zone you should attempt to Houdini before the meal is ordered, if the girl gets all crazy after it is ordered, I would recommend showing some class by saying you forgot your Beano in the car and then leave a 20 dollar bill and a pre-written note on the chair that says, "It's not your fault, it is mine. This should cover my half, I hope you have enough for the tip. "
The family reunion is also effective training ground. You make your rounds to the "important" family members, that is the hot cousins and the relatives with money that might leave you some. Hit the oldest ones first, you want to be fresh in their memory, if they have Alzheimers then just pretend to be whatever person they think you are. Play along. When you see the relatives that would be considered the "black sheep" of the family make a beeline for your Grandma's potato salad, grab a plateful, eat it up (Grandma's always make the best potato salad and you wouldn't want to miss out on that) then say you have to go get that old family photo album and get the hell out of dodge. The Houdini. Viola!
Until you have put in the proper training though don't be That Guy that tries to pull this move off. The set up is critical and you can never tip your hand. You have to keep the element of surprise so that one minute you are there and the next you are gone in the blink of an eye.
Reader Comments