Friday
Feb292008
Man that grinds my gears.....
Friday, February 29, 2008 at 05:23PM
There is nothing more irritating than a slow turner. You know what I am talking about. It is these moron douche bags that slow down to three miles an hour to creep into a parking lot as you are stuck behind them trying to make the next light. I understand you just got your new purple VW bug with the flower holder in the front but don't fret your pretty little head off the car ain't going to flip over if you go more than 5 mph around a sharp bend. Those cars are tested on the autobahn and seem to do just fine. I don't know if you have ever seen any of the Herbie the Love Bug movies but that type of car actually does really well on two wheels so I think you are alright actually accelerating through a turn every once in a great while.
Another thing that grinds my gears is the driver that gives you the stink eye when he drives up next to you because you are going the speed limit and they are in a frigging hurry to get to their destination. The obvious and sane response would be to let the driver go on his merry way or you can completely mess with the ignoramus. This technique involves speeding up to the car by whatever means possible even if you have to go out of your way, then passing them and pulling along side of the vehicle in front of said asshole and slowing down so as to mimic the speed of the vehicle blocking their route. When he is behind you then tap repeatedly on your brakes in a jerking motion to keep the asshole driver on his toes. If they happen to pull along side of you at a light you give them the hands up and shoulder shrug move while mouthing the words, "What the fuck is your problem?"
The solution to these "road rage" drivers is simple. A harmoncia. I always keep a harmonica in my car for when the occasional harmonica solo is rocking on the radio or cd player and with a quick reach into the glove box I can harmonic along while driving; I find this quite soothing. If you want to be safe you can get what was the precursor to the bluetooth, the harmonica attachment for around the neck. You see this device used alot with the guitar/harmonica combo musician but it also works great in the car to allow hand free harmonica use. The super driving musical combo to strive toward would of course be the ukelele/harmonica mix but that takes years of driving practice and I suggest you start out with smaller engined vehicles like lawnmowers and go-karts.
Another thing that grinds my gears is the driver that gives you the stink eye when he drives up next to you because you are going the speed limit and they are in a frigging hurry to get to their destination. The obvious and sane response would be to let the driver go on his merry way or you can completely mess with the ignoramus. This technique involves speeding up to the car by whatever means possible even if you have to go out of your way, then passing them and pulling along side of the vehicle in front of said asshole and slowing down so as to mimic the speed of the vehicle blocking their route. When he is behind you then tap repeatedly on your brakes in a jerking motion to keep the asshole driver on his toes. If they happen to pull along side of you at a light you give them the hands up and shoulder shrug move while mouthing the words, "What the fuck is your problem?"
The solution to these "road rage" drivers is simple. A harmoncia. I always keep a harmonica in my car for when the occasional harmonica solo is rocking on the radio or cd player and with a quick reach into the glove box I can harmonic along while driving; I find this quite soothing. If you want to be safe you can get what was the precursor to the bluetooth, the harmonica attachment for around the neck. You see this device used alot with the guitar/harmonica combo musician but it also works great in the car to allow hand free harmonica use. The super driving musical combo to strive toward would of course be the ukelele/harmonica mix but that takes years of driving practice and I suggest you start out with smaller engined vehicles like lawnmowers and go-karts.
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