Get 2 Choppin

Recently our crack investigative team of Dick Wiley, Scoop “The Tip” Taylor and our latest addition to the staff, former K.G.B. agent and spy Dementii Roccov, went under the covers to get the latest scoop on the happenings of a first date in the year of our lord, 2008.

This isn’t your mother’s first date because everybody kept their pants on but it was quite the experience let me tell you. I must warn you that you may be shocked and appalled by some of the behavior but don’t blame us we had to do it to get the story.

It starts with a simple movie that an unidentified white male that goes by the alias Mr. Collik, that we randomly selected out of the movie going crowd, was taking his apparent first date too. As we zoomed in with our high-power field binoculars, the body language was obvious. There was the slight touch of the hand to his shoulder when he told a joke. She kept enough spacing to show she was interested but to not let him know that she was readily interested in “that” type of first date ending your mother warned you about when she said, “Nobody dates a whore, so keep your zipper up and flirting down to a minimum”. The telltale sign was his willingness to buy the tickets and show his ability to take care of things (even though I have to say it is 2008 and woman should at least make a cursory attempt to pay for the ticket or to maybe even actually pay for it. I mean what the hell was that entire woman’s lib shit for if you can’t even pony up and buy a movie ticket.)

This is where things got dicey. Being somewhat minor celebrities and well recognizable to the get2choppin.com fan base, Dick Wiley and Scoop “The Tip” Taylor had to wait outside the movie theater while Dementii Roccov performed a reconnaissance mission. After spotting the previously mentioned couple, she returned to Scoop and Dick to relay information to them that their cover may be compromised if they go into the theatre. They were a tad bit discouraged and sent Dementii in first to gain access to a primo spying position and then undaunted they ducked into the theatre at the last minute hiding themselves in the front row in a very awkward position so as not to be seen but with a slight view of the couple.

Dementii’s reports from above were filtering down to Dick and Scoop that there was indeed confirmation of the leaning of the female upon the male’s shoulder and some possible lip locking during the previews. All in all, it appeared to be going well on both sides for the first date.

The movie fell into the genre of comedy and was a well thought out choice by the gentleman. With the movie coming to an end, Dick and Scoop had to make a run for it so as not to be spotted and/or stopped to sign autographs, kiss babies, or be part of family photographs and what not. They quickly ran out of the theatre as Scoop yelled, “Excuse me, Pardon me, we have to get to the hospital.” While Dick Wiley replied, “She is due any minute”. Thus making it appear like these two fine fellows were watching a movie while one of their wives was in labor. They hustled to their car and were off without being spotted.

As of my deadline, I cannot confirm how or when this date ended but it would appear from all accounts rendered that it was the successful beginning to a nice first date. So knights of the dating world keep your swords sharp and your wit sharper for chivalry is not dead. I say, “Come out from under those covers for it will be a good morrow, my fine friends, because we indeed live in a world with hope.”