Wednesday
Jan302008
Letter to the Editor: Jaybear has clubbed the baby seal
Wednesday, January 30, 2008 at 10:09AM
Most recently I wrote a post regarding changing the linguistic laws through various accessible loopholes that could allow for us to languish in peaceful bliss while erasing all racial tensions (I know you can send us the Nobel Peace Prize now if you must). This brought one of our valuable comment contributors out from the greasy underbelly of civilization and he followed with this reponse to the changing of the term "Jumped the Shark" to "Clubbed the Baby Seal":
Jump the Shark originated when Evil Kneviel jumped an aquarium filled with sharks. The term gained more popularity thanks to the Fonz, a character portrayed in happy days.
The episode you refer to is the one where the Fonz has doubts about jumping a shark while on waterskis. Still this is impossible and makes no sense because sharks do not like fresh water and it is currently illegal to waterski in saltwater aka oceans or the Dead sea due to the Oceans without commotion legislation that has just recently passed in the United Nations. We also know that Happy Days took place in Wisconsin which is quite far from any salt water. Anyway this is not the point that I wanted to make.
The point that I wanted to make is that the Fonz is dead. Jump the Shark is dead. Jesus H. Christ was dead, was alive, is dead, and will be coming back. Tupac despite being shot six times is not dead. He is slanging some dope rhymes up in his hizzouse in the dirty South pole. Biggie Smalls is dead. He was shot, yes, but he really died when his escalade hit a speed bump in the parking lot of the hospital and he choked on a piece of fried chicken. Rumor has it that the word "nigger" just got buried, but I have a sneaky feeling it will be coming back before Jesus H. Christ does. Bellows is not dead, but it wouldn't be a big lose if he was (wink, wink, nod, nod). How funny would it be if Bellows had a stroke (and not the kind that he has been accustomed to the last year if you know what I mean) and died right before he was about to break his slump. John Candy and Chris Farley are dead but they are both turning in their grave laughing about that one.
Elvis is Dead nuts on when he says, "Don't step on my Blue Suede shoes", seriously those things are probably expensive. Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears, and Amy Winehouse aren't dead but they will be soon if they keep it up. Cross your fingers. Heath Ledger is dead. or is he? jokes on us. John Travolta's career was dead until Pulp Fiction and now he is so fucking rich he parks a 747 in his backyard. Arsenic, man that shit is deadly, but sometimes people like to add it to their significant other's food. Weird huh?
Jump the Shark originated when Evil Kneviel jumped an aquarium filled with sharks. The term gained more popularity thanks to the Fonz, a character portrayed in happy days.
The episode you refer to is the one where the Fonz has doubts about jumping a shark while on waterskis. Still this is impossible and makes no sense because sharks do not like fresh water and it is currently illegal to waterski in saltwater aka oceans or the Dead sea due to the Oceans without commotion legislation that has just recently passed in the United Nations. We also know that Happy Days took place in Wisconsin which is quite far from any salt water. Anyway this is not the point that I wanted to make.
The point that I wanted to make is that the Fonz is dead. Jump the Shark is dead. Jesus H. Christ was dead, was alive, is dead, and will be coming back. Tupac despite being shot six times is not dead. He is slanging some dope rhymes up in his hizzouse in the dirty South pole. Biggie Smalls is dead. He was shot, yes, but he really died when his escalade hit a speed bump in the parking lot of the hospital and he choked on a piece of fried chicken. Rumor has it that the word "nigger" just got buried, but I have a sneaky feeling it will be coming back before Jesus H. Christ does. Bellows is not dead, but it wouldn't be a big lose if he was (wink, wink, nod, nod). How funny would it be if Bellows had a stroke (and not the kind that he has been accustomed to the last year if you know what I mean) and died right before he was about to break his slump. John Candy and Chris Farley are dead but they are both turning in their grave laughing about that one.
Elvis is Dead nuts on when he says, "Don't step on my Blue Suede shoes", seriously those things are probably expensive. Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears, and Amy Winehouse aren't dead but they will be soon if they keep it up. Cross your fingers. Heath Ledger is dead. or is he? jokes on us. John Travolta's career was dead until Pulp Fiction and now he is so fucking rich he parks a 747 in his backyard. Arsenic, man that shit is deadly, but sometimes people like to add it to their significant other's food. Weird huh?
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