Get 2 Choppin

In a recent poll, One out of three are seriously looking for a way to expand the linguistic license that we as writers have in American society. The other two are ignorantly blissful to the nightmare that is the politically correct culture that we live in. Shame on you two.

What I am trying to get across to the highly sensitive American public is that words are just words. It is bombs from terrorist cells that will break your bones, but that is another story. Anyway the question is, why can't we change the meaning of words to make them less abrasive or harmful? I believe we just to need to change our perspective, a reversal you might say, or a 180 backside ollie if you are part of the X-games generation.

For instance, the term "jump the shark" is often used to describe something that has lost its strong hold in pop culture like the American Pie series has jumped the shark with its latest straight to video production about Stifler's cousin's fraternity or something like that. If you think about it that is pure nonsense, you can't jump a shark. What I propose is that we say, "man, Dog the Bounty Hunter clubbed the baby seal when he went off on that racial tirade." "It clubbed the baby seal" connotates that whatever is being referenced crossed an imaginary line in society that is unacceptable. I think it fits better kinda like my new baby seal leather shoes, so soft.

The next way we can alter meanings is by affixing them to products and changing their names. For instance the word "spic" refers to a dirty mexican, but when you put the word spic and span together you have a product that helps clean up our world and in essence is symbolic of cleaning up society's bigotry. So why can't we create a product called "Jew Glue" that is cheap and affordable and has a very strong level of adhesiveness and resilience.

The next thing we need to correct is the meaning behind certain words. For instance the N word tends to be a socially incorrect word to use, unless you say "nigga". What I propose is changing the meaning of nigga to hammock. So now anyone can come in and say, "Where's my nigga?" and a response can be, "hanging out on the porch or stretched between two trees in the backyard." Then the person who asked can be like, "Good cuz, I need a nap." See how much better the word nigga becomes.

Speaking of napping, why are there so many misinterpretation of people's sayings. Take Don Imus, he said something about "nappy ass ho's" in regards to the Rutger's girls basketball team. Maybe he had some bad information that they took a lot of naps and he in fact, due to his jealously or lack of sleep, meant "nappy ass holes". He shortened the word asshole just as the N word is shortened. It was a term of disgruntled endearment. Like the seven dwarfs, I have to think in a fit of jealously Grumpy might have said, "That sleepy ass ho', he ain't never do no work. That good fer nothing lazy sum ofa beetch. I oughta spin him up tight in that nigga (hammock now) and get him all dizzy. That der will teach him a lesson." 

Let the healing process begin.