Wednesday
Nov142007
Weather Center Forecast....Impending Storm Approaching
Wednesday, November 14, 2007 at 05:36PM
This just in folks. There is an approaching storm on the horizon and we at get2choppin.com suggest you take cover because in about two seconds there is going to be some scattered flurries of F-bombs and a downpouring of blood-boiling venom. The howling hurricane-like winds of anger are about to suck you up and spit you out like a two-bit whore sucking cock on a friday night at the local speedy-Q at least that is where I hope I might find her. The blistering bitterness of the harsh reality of unchoppinness that is about to be released is about to hit you smack dab in the face like a fucking roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris on Walker, Texas Ranger.
Apparently I missed the fucking memo about the upcoming bizarre arctic winter that is about to hit us. I checked the old Farmer's Almanac and there is nothing to be concerned about or is there? The fucking craziness of it all, it's betwixting. I mean it appears there will be a foot-deep layer of snow that is covering the ground yet it will be warm enough for women to wear skirts and leotards that look like they were stolen from Jane Fonda's box of clothes for the thrift store. I mean what other fucking reason could there be for all these scatter-brained women to be wearing these God damn knee high furry boots. They fucking look like somebody killed a chipmunk and wrapped it around their calf. I think these fucking things are called Ugg boots but in my opinion they should be called ugly boots (which is by the way what they started out being called). Don't go all pscyho on me if I spelled it wrong because I don't give a flying fuck if you take a leap off a ten-story building with an eleven-story long bungee cord.
I mean ladies, we ain't in the middle of fucking Alaska hunting for baby seals to club and bring back to the igloo for dinner. Shit, we ain't even in Colorado on some snobby-ass ski slope just standing around sipping Bailey's and coffee at 12 dollars a cup. On top of it your wearing some damn mini skirt that barely covers your ass, it makes no fucking sense. They should be called ugh!! boots because that is the sound that every boyfriend and husband makes when his girlfriend or wife tells them they want a pair for their birthday or christmas.
If she wants to go trekking through the damn Himalayas like a fucking sherpa then by all means by her a pair, oh wait by the fucking way they are completely fucking non-functional boots. You can't strap them into a ski and you sure as hell can't strap them on and climb a fucking mountain.
Hmmm wait a second that might not be a bad idea. I mean lets just say your relationship is on the skids. Why not give her a pair of those boots with no traction and try to fix things by going for a moonlit walk on a slippery mountain cliff. I mean what can it hurt. Just kidding, but seriously.
Apparently I missed the fucking memo about the upcoming bizarre arctic winter that is about to hit us. I checked the old Farmer's Almanac and there is nothing to be concerned about or is there? The fucking craziness of it all, it's betwixting. I mean it appears there will be a foot-deep layer of snow that is covering the ground yet it will be warm enough for women to wear skirts and leotards that look like they were stolen from Jane Fonda's box of clothes for the thrift store. I mean what other fucking reason could there be for all these scatter-brained women to be wearing these God damn knee high furry boots. They fucking look like somebody killed a chipmunk and wrapped it around their calf. I think these fucking things are called Ugg boots but in my opinion they should be called ugly boots (which is by the way what they started out being called). Don't go all pscyho on me if I spelled it wrong because I don't give a flying fuck if you take a leap off a ten-story building with an eleven-story long bungee cord.
I mean ladies, we ain't in the middle of fucking Alaska hunting for baby seals to club and bring back to the igloo for dinner. Shit, we ain't even in Colorado on some snobby-ass ski slope just standing around sipping Bailey's and coffee at 12 dollars a cup. On top of it your wearing some damn mini skirt that barely covers your ass, it makes no fucking sense. They should be called ugh!! boots because that is the sound that every boyfriend and husband makes when his girlfriend or wife tells them they want a pair for their birthday or christmas.
If she wants to go trekking through the damn Himalayas like a fucking sherpa then by all means by her a pair, oh wait by the fucking way they are completely fucking non-functional boots. You can't strap them into a ski and you sure as hell can't strap them on and climb a fucking mountain.
Hmmm wait a second that might not be a bad idea. I mean lets just say your relationship is on the skids. Why not give her a pair of those boots with no traction and try to fix things by going for a moonlit walk on a slippery mountain cliff. I mean what can it hurt. Just kidding, but seriously.
Reader Comments (4)
So what you are saying is I should return the pair I bought for myself, but I look so good in leotards. Just kidding, but seriously.
Hi, get2choppin.com, my name is Mike Walters and I am from Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. I am a recovering alcoholic for 38 years now and this subject regarding Ugg boots has got me back drinking again. I mean come on, is there any reason for the young sluts with tits, and some sluts with nuts to be wearing these boots where the temperature doesn't reach any lower that 60 degrees fahrenheit. By the way, this eight fingers of jack is going down smoother than the slick back of those baby seals those sluts are wearing. I hate to do this to you, but while I have you reading this, I would like to bring another topic to the attention of get2choppin.com (the greatest site ever), The topic is of course "clubahololics." Those mother fuckers that wanna get all dressed up just to walk into the door and buy $8 danwei.... I mean Mikeweisers. That is bullshit. Half of those fuckers get all smancy pancy and walk in just to find themselves with two black X's on their hands cuz they aren't old enough to pay the reeediculous price for one twelve ounce beer. I would like to see a post on those pussies who can't drink a pabst or a nice beer like Milwaukee's Best. Long time reader here. Keep up the good work.
Mike Walters
I commensurate on this one. My ex wore these and it drove me nuts. He bought me a pair a and I returned them. Thanx but no thanks...I should have known it'd never work when he was wearing chickboots...no wonder we never had sex...hmmmmmmmmmmm.......
Commensurate or Commiserate...hell....both?!