Get 2 Choppin

After years and years of study, it seems to me that there are two types of people in the world, the credit stealer (a.k.a. the onion of the week) and the behind the scenes bonus point best friend (a.k.a. one choppin individual). I am about to explore the difference so that you can easily distinguish the two.

For those that are unaware of what the behind the scenes bonus point best friend is I will break it down for you. The bonus point is what we all strive for, whether it is with a significant other, a new possible relationship, or just a plain old friendship. The bonus point concept is a sliding scale system because obviously getting your girlfriend a diamond necklace versus taking your buddy to the airport is going to garner different bonus points.

The behind the scenes bonus point best friend is someone that works tirelessly for the good of his friend/s to help him or her land some new tail.  A prime example of this type of person is the legend, Wham Dickham. Recently without any prompting this selfless individual went out of his way to relay a funny story to the girl that one of his friends recently started talking to while the friend was in the men’s room. He could have easily reverted to a credit stealer in this situation but his high level of integrity and un-sellout-ability led him down the path of righteous behavior. He fished out that bonus point like a seasoned angler.

The opposite of this high-minded individual is the scum of the earth, the barnacles on the friend ship, and the lowest of low the credit stealer. This person continually tries to steal or take credit for ideas that originated from someone other than himself. A credit stealer has likely infiltrated your circle of friends and you don’t even know it. He is likely to be the most uncreative person in your group and is just hanging around with super cool people to pilfer their productive thoughts. A prime example of this would be the one and only Brando Hausini, the latest and not so greatest onion of the week. This guy is the credit stealer of all credit stealers. He recently stole the sunshine from Wham Dickham himself for taking credit for naming their soccer team, the Dangerous Dragons.

It should be called Dickham’s Dangerous Dragons anyways because he is going to end up carrying Brando on his back again. It’s like he’s Santa Claus just doling out presents with his left and right foot. That is one dragon I wouldn’t want to get on my bad side, plus the only dragon Brando should worry about is draggin’ his own sorry ass back to the bench.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 at 3:49 pm and is filed under Chopper Awards. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.