Get 2 Choppin

Random Acts: A Western Ballad

Being that I am out in the wild, wild west I have decided to try my hand at penning the ultimate Western Ballad. It goes like this:

First Verse:

I came all this way to hunt my dream woman on the left coast

I don’t want to brag but I am better than most

So I sat down to have a beer

and ponder the fact that I might be queer

cause I ain’t yet found my California dear

Second Verse:

I hopped on a plane and flew out west

figured I’d just show up and give ‘em my best

I pulled out the big guns, I mean I flexed my left and then right arm

Damn I even showed them what I call the “thumb charm”

But they all slapped my face and said, “cowboy, go back to your farm”

Chorus:

These Calfornia dear got big racks

One look will stop you in your tracks

The natives call them, “el grande hornos”

One might think they were in mucho pornos

But I’m no judge and that’s not why I’m here

I just want to kiss a California dear

Third Verse:

I’m just sitting here nursing my drink

figuring out what to do but it hurts to think

So without missing a beat, I yell “bartender, another drink and make it sing”

I keep my head down knowing failure is an ugly thing

Until she hands me my drink and I see she ain’t got no wedding ring

Fourth Verse:

The skies were cloudy and it was about to rain

I felt like I was carrying every lonely man’s pain

I even started to question my own damn game

until that Brittany Spears looking bartender, i forget her name

Said with a wink and a nod, “cowboy this is one philly that needs to be tamed”